The Tremendous Manslug is universally recognized as one of the most obnoxious and pathetic creatures in existence.  This Tainted Pornemon is not physically dangerous on its own, but its anger levels combined with the irritating noises that it constantly makes can be enough to instigate untold levels of chaos wherever it goes.  While it's an exceedingly rare Pornemon, it's also hard to kill like a cockroach, so visitors to the Unintended Consequences Wildlife Preserve should feel free to give it a hard kick to the face if they encounter it, just to shut it up.

Tainted Pornemon Type:
whiney, orange, deplorable  

Likes:
grabbing things with its vestigial hands, shiny things, destroying democracy

Weaknesses:
Any text requiring more than a 3rd grade reading proficiency, making friends

Let manslug grab you by the...

When he's not being a dick, he's just a piece of crap.  The Near-Sighted Turdle spends his days devising machiavellian schemes in an effort to ruin things for the rest of the Pornemon in the park.  Colloquially referred to as the "shit turtle", this horrible creature should never be mistakenly seen as having anything but the worst intentions.

Tainted Pornemon Type:
bureaucratic, saggy, constipated

Likes:
ruining things so he can feel like a big boy, removing his shell when no one is looking and lubing up

Weaknesses:
watery eyes, altruism, poor people

Duvet cover? gross.

The Bottom Feeding Blobfish only has a single oriface.  Like some species of sea cucumber, it eats and excretes from the same hole. This obviously leads to some very extreme halitosis which make this creature immediately unlikable to any that have the unpleasant experience of interacting with it. 


Tainted Pornemon Type:
totally unlikable, chode-nose, puker

Likes:
lying, grandstanding, breath mints, states rights

Weaknesses:
popularity contests, laxatives

totally appropriate atire

A naturally curious creature, the Bipedal Elephant spends the majority of its waking hours caressing and probing elements of its local habitat using its trunk. This investigation is typically followed by, what some researchers insist, are explosive displays of creative self-expression using mud, water, and other available materials which the bipedals spray out from their trunks onto cliff faces and cleared areas of ground.  


Pornemon Type:
Creative, Sensual, Sprayer

Likes:
Social bonding through the entwining of trunks, lewd graffiti

Weaknesses:
zombie formalism, MMAPs, grant applications

It’s Leg day Every day

The Dapper Octopus is known for its fastidious nature and its propensity for personal grooming.  Its large, melon-like eyes make it very adept at low-light activities.  

Personality Type:
fastidious, seductive, mustachioed

Likes:
squats(for those tight buns), popsicles, square dancing

Weaknesses:
Nora Ephron movies

Tentacles touching you all over

The Long-Nekid Sphinx is most obviously differentiated from typical domestic sphinx breeds by it's elongated, elegant neck.  Unlike most other cat breeds and species, it loves the water and its furless body makes it a fierce competitor in water sports.  Caution must be observed if you encounter this creature in the water-- it enjoys sucking up water and spitting it at passerbys for its own amusement.


Pornemon Type:
Competitive, Excitable, Spitter

Likes:
having its neck petted (at first slowly, then more vigorously), SPF lotion

Weaknesses:
Allergies, Sunburn

flaunt your pink thing

The Hippopornemus has several key physical traits that differ from the common river hippopotamus. The Hippopornemus has a luxurious mane of curly hair around it’s neck as well as very pronounced jowls and a bulbous snout. The large jowls assist in flotation while swimming which results in the Hippopornemus’ head staying above water most of the time.

Personality Type:
friendly, lazy, hungry hungry

Likes:
rooting around with it’s snout for snacks, going for a swim, aromatherapy

Weaknesses:
low-endurance, can only sustain peak activity levels for up to a minute before needing to rest

The Ambulatory Carrot requires much of the same care as a normal carrot in that it needs plenty of sun and water for survival. Since it does not remain underground, however, it absorbs additional nutrients by sweeping its leaves along the ground as it walks.


Personality Type:
Flirty, fastidious, bouncy

Likes:
dancing, sun-bathing, long showers

Weaknesses:
Stew, vegetable peelers

The Thicc Eggplant may resemble the famous purple vegetable its named after, but it is in fact an insect. Oddly, and somewhat disturbingly, it’s favorite food is actually eggplant. It appears to be most closely related to caterpillars which leads scientists to believe it will some day go through a metamorphosis and become something more.

Personality Type:
nervous, curious, juicy

Likes:
eggplants, twerking, the Snorks

Weaknesses:
Barbeque grills, parmesan

The Giant Pangolin species that inhabit the island of Lolo Volcano, are the only indigenous animals of the island that do not seem to come out of the volcano. As the origin of the island is not known, the origin of this particular species of pangolin is also a mystery. These pangolin appear to be identical to known species of pangolin save for the fact that they are all highly intelligent and hermaphroditic in nature.

Personality Type:
friendly, helpful, intelligent

Likes:
welcoming visitors to the island with an intimate presentation, being involved with day to day activities

Weaknesses:
wet markets

Fatbird is the first creature to emerge from Lolo Volcano and has become the defacto mascot for the island and the Unintended Consequences Wildlife Sanctuary. Fatbird is an honorary member of the facility’s Ranger Team and normally accompanies them on their missions to welcome new creatures to the island. Despite its plump frame, Fatbird is capable of short bursts of flight if it flaps it’s little wings hard enough, though this exertion does leave it quite winded.

Personality Type:
BFF

Likes:
body positivity, going on adventures, snacks

Dislikes:
Chocobos

The Elegant Frog is an extremely fastidious creature with a very strong predilection for fancy footwear. The Elegant Frog is gregarious but often socially unaware and tends to offend new arrivals to the island due to a certain tactile curiosity. To put another way, the frog does not respect the other animals’ personal space or physical boundaries. Luckily, any altercations tend to be short-lived and the frog enjoys a rich social life with the other residents of the island.

Personality Type:
Outgoing, curious, a bit too touchy

Likes:
pimping out her pad (lily), dancing

Weaknesses:
patent leather, closet space